Maybe I'm a bit dramatic, but it's how I feel.
In Med/Surg I had my friends who became family & had been by my side for the past 5 years. I knew them, trusted them & loved them. I had my system down & was pretty confident in my assessment skills. Now I feel like I'm fresh out of school again. I know no one, but everyone has known each other for years. I barely know that Braxton Hicks is not the name of a baby boy just born down the hall. I can carry on a conversation with an 80 year old man much easier than I can a girl my own age. I have a long ways to go, but I'm getting there. It can be a frustrating and overwhelming process.
The night shift starts next week. This is what I'm dreading most. Not so much because of the hours, but because I'm gonna miss my husband! It's so hard to get on in Labor & Delivery because no one leaves. There is a list in the break room of nurses anxiously awaiting their call to go to day shift... I'm number 14. 14!! I'm praying it doesn't last long and that I can move to the day shift quickly. God can do anything-He is fully capable. This might sound silly to say, but Chad & I really enjoy our time together! You're supposed to as husband & wife but we really have fun. We laugh a lot. It makes me sad to think that there will be days I won't even see him. For example, my first week on nights I will see him Thursday, then not again until Sunday night because of the time he leaves and I get home. We won't get to talk on the phone & tell each other about our days while he's on his way home. I won't get to beg him to go to bed at the same time as me. We won't get to watch any of our evening shows together (Bachelor Pad... Don't tell him I told you!). I know a lot of people have it worse than me. I can't imagine being in a different country than my husband for months & years at a time-props to you military wives!
"For our light & momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen but what is unseen. What is seen is temporary but what is unseen is eternal."
-2 Corinthians 4:17-18
Your daily troubles are an investment in eternity. Fix your eyes on the unseen, the eternal.
My heart feels a little weighted down. Had to to type it out. I continue to be thankful for the way the Lord has lead my life. I may plan my course but He determines my steps. And His ideas are always way better than mine. I'll be patient & will get through it (the night shift, the new friends, new processes, new assessment skills, etc). I just pray that it's quickly.
(Can I just be a farmer?!)